|Feb. 7th, 2011 @ 09:33 pm On the set of COUNTRY STRONG|
|So, remember how last year around this time, I was chosen to be a waitress in a movie but I was forbidden to post/talk/tweet about it or else I could be sued/beaten/put to death?|
Well. The movie's out now, and garnering the type of reviews it is garnering, so I suppose that it's all right for me to break my terrible silence and tell you how it all went down.
The disclaimer on this is that, unfortunately, and I feel like I should just come right out and say it--I am not Best Friends with Gwyneth Paltrow or Leighton Meester. We do not french braid each other's hair or spend our nights gossiping on the phone.
And while Miss Meester did direct message me the other day, it was to promote THE ROOMMATE and not to be like YOU WERE SO GOOD IN THE MOVIE, which is the way it should have been, if you ask me.
Which, I mean, for the one second I am on screen I am the most convincing waitress EVER. It could be because I studied very hard for my role by spending the entire summer after my freshman year of college as a really terrible waitress at a restaurant on the beach, where I pretended to be the new girl even months after I started. It's very effective when you forgot the ranch on someone's salad twice.
DAY ONE OF FILMING.
Let's cut to the...um, scene. I get a call that is like, "Do you want to play a waitress in a movie?"
And I am like, all cool, "Sure. When?"
And the woman goes, "Next Monday and Tuesday. Give me your clothing sizes."
If you have ever seen me IN REAL LIFE, you know I am very tall and rather curvy, and of course when I show up on set everything is too small and they have to TAPE MY BUTTON UP SHIRT ON.
Which is downright classy, if you ask me.
Anyway, after I get my shirt stuck on, I sit down at the tables with the rest of the bartenders/waitstaff. I transfer my phone to my bag at the exact same time this dude's laptop alarm goes off.
Rule #1 on set or off set or anywhere within ten miles of set: Cell phones must NOT be turned on.
Of course, the guy who was in charge of extras-we'll call him Lloyd--gives me the GLARE OF HATE and snaps, "You need to turn off your phone." Because--and we'll be fair to Lloyd--he did just say that like five minutes earlier.
I sort of stand there open-mouthed, because A) I'm still being shy-girl and I don't know what to say and B) Um, in what world can a cell phone be as loud as a laptop alarm? It's totally not my phone. But instead of defending myself, I nod, which is basically just like saying I'M GUILTY I BROKE THE RULES MY FIRST DAY.
Which I didn't. I'm just saying. I mean, I waited a year to blog about this action. Clearly, I was not going to break THE RULE.
So after getting in trouble within the first hour I am there, I am hustled off into makeup, where they take off most the fancy eye makeup I got up early to put on and make me look like the other waitresses. I get my hair poofed into a ponytail and made friends with the makeup ladies.
Let me say this: if you ever are in a movie, make friends with the hair, makeup, and wardrobe people. They're cool as hell and have some killer stories.
Anywho, I am feeling pretty psyched at this point, even though I don't know anything about the scene other than that I'm a waitress and it'll be filmed at The Stage, a honky tonk on Broadway. We'll be hanging at Paradise Park between scenes, where I am always concerned about catching diseases from the booths, and my little waitress outfit was going to do little to protect me from such horrors.
But little did I know, the booths were the least of my concern. The terror of my earlier mistake with Lloyd was about to follow me right on set. And right off of set. And then on, and then off again.
Lesson number one, folks: Don't piss off Lloyd.
More later! XO.